Lyndsey Tarrants

what is bothering me:

people asking other people via-internet to stop telling them they look like hayley williams just because they have red hair. when they, in fact, look nothing like, dress nothing like, have no common facial features like, hayley williams.

the person in front of me driving with their blinkers on, the person in front of me driving with their headlights on in broad daylight

someone that thinks their life is interesting enough to constantly talk about it

an actor/actress who is good at what they do, but always seems to be cast as the person to die and leave one of the main characters a widower

knowing the concept of time

the inability to see anything straight through

let's start this off where my last blog left off ... well, sort of.

i got a twitter. go figure. and then i decided a stickam account would be a great idea. yeah, not. i don't even know what that place is for. just use skype. (when i actually go on my stickam account i'm probably going to like it)

anyhizzle,

get on with your day. warm, sunny days are coming. i am excited.

follow me?

lynseafish.tumblr.com

don't leave me hanginnng.

... uh, please?

2009 is tomorrow and i don't have a lot of key wrap-ups for this year. in it's own ways, 2008 has been more of chill-out year than any other. i've become a year older and year more independent. i'm allowed to do a little bit more and i've been to more than one show within a 3yr breaking period. i've had ryland tell me happy birthday and seriously considered telling john o i may or may not be in love with him. i met some awesome people and figured out exactly where i stood at my school and with myself (though, i thank the "self" thing to 2007; that year was the prime of my teenage stickle).

so here's my 2008 highlights

asking gabe saporta one of the dumbest questions in the entire universe before a css rager, "you ready for this, gabe?"

dancing on stage with cobra starship

not seeming to grow out of being able to buy a pair of jeans that fit me

figuring out that maybe i'm not such a bad person after all

seeing paramore from god knows how many feet away and still feeling the enjoyment of "we are paramore" (and screaming, "i am, though!", when hayley asked if we were actually going to sing with her when everyone was too busy crowd surfing to notice we were halfway through a song).

laughing hysterically with my best friend. a lot. all the time. like earlier today.

b-rad

wondering when the fuck this year would be over with

getting overly worked up and pissed that blg wasn't going to make it to missouri ... again (and this time with good charlotte, metro station, and the maine) of all people

getting my warped tour ticket

having danny from the audition express to me how my sunglasses were fucking cool ... and then taking a picture about it

one of my best friends falling off of her porch bawling her eyes out

FF5 ... finally

going to the all time low concert and promising to go to every one that came to town after that

telling derek of mayday parade that i want my life to be a jamie all over

wanting to pass american govt and never care or hear about politics again

except for obama, that's cool

ftsk. srs handholding.

martin johnsons chin. priceless. new bff.

photography ambitions

"i want to go to college. shit."

having the last kiss become my too favorite of a movie

prince of persia scarves

becoming enlightened and writing about it

working every day except for mon. and wed. and dreading every second of it

the hush sound and some serious one on one serenading time <3

hoping to god the 2009 warped tour has a better turn out so i have something to do aug 3rd

free style rapping to embarass a friend or two

figuring out i like myself better than i like everyone else liking me (go me!)

signing the maines van and taking a picture or two of it

that isn't everything. but yknow ...

i have no resolution whatsoever. i like it better that way. i can improvise along the way and, hopefully, i can get something done with what i come up with in good time.

happy holidays, all. it's become a sort of commercialized experience within any year i can remember of celebrating what christmas offers.

it isn't about gifts, though, it is about giving. give, take, be with your family, and stuff your face with mashed potatoes and your grandmas famous ... er, stuffing? i like mine for her great boxed in pumpkin pie.

seriously. when you open your presents and think they are the coolest things ever. remember, be thankful and hope to above that there is a next year. within these past two weeks i have come to realize that things really do happen within the blink of an eye.

and, maybe, i'm a changing person because of it.

but we always say that, don't we?

xo

once again, happy holidays. make the best of them. they are worth being together.

britney spears' real comeback hit when i got my rolling stones in the mail today. i'm getting the cd CIRCUS asap.

i'm counting down to the new year. and it better be fucking good.

i loved twilight. but that's probably just because i've always had a thing for rob pattison. the books are great.

but i'm wondering how the second movie will go.

... i want some fuckin' fiji in a smartwater bottle.

i need a pill for my jealously.

I'm tired of feeling blocked into scratching for myself. I don't like feeling like I have to protect every aspect of who I am so that no one else can snatch or steal it.

I want a life of breathing. Let me breathe. Get away.

I really want to see that new movie "Burn After Reading". It looks halrious.

Keep Travis Barker, DJ AM, the victims, and their families in whatever prayers you believe in. It's tragic what happened.

We lost big time to Grove last night. Got our asses owned. It was sad. We scored like, a total of two touch downs to their ... uh, six (I think). Our first loss. But I had fun with every one that showed up. It's been awhile since I've seen a crowd that big turn out to our football games. With a 21 game losing streaaaaaaaaaaak, it was happy to see Houston support.

I need more books to read. And I need to actually try and finish the Harry Potter series. I've been wanting to watch the fourth movie for awhile now. I'm in love with Cedric D. (or .. Edward ... or whatever you want to call him). He's a hottie. Had to say it.

So ...  know of any good CDs to pick up? I'm out of the loop.

xo.lyndsey

Storms have been rocking little old Houston, Missouri and I have been seriously considering making a how-to video on how to pronounce my last name and how to spell my first. People are stupid. I'm wearing a Mizzou sweatshirt and I think I'm getting fatter. School tomorrow. I need to finish my homework on Barack Obama and John McCain. I'm pulling for Obama. He's an incredible speaker. John McCain was a war vetern. Either way, I'm tired of hearing people bitch about how no one realizes the slow change Obama isn't talking about with independence of middle eastern oils and how P.O.W John McCain crashed a trillion and one planes and sucked at his job. Pull your own vote and swing your own voice. It'll get you somewhere eventually.

Caleb and I messed around after I got off work today. I returned two movies: Vacancy and Smart People. I know I'm a little behind on watching either; but I only got to one. And that was Vacancy. If you haven't seen it, wait 'til it goes in the five dollar bin at Wal-Mart. It kept me on edge the entire time but the whole plot twist dwindled to nothing. It was just creepy. And realistic. Unfortunately (as previously mentioned) I didn't get to Smart People. I hope to watch it soon.

He left the room and I was trying to tell him to come back before, "..it'll be too late!!"

I didn't get to watch the VMAs. But anymore it's just boring. I miss Good Charlotte and Britney Spears PERFORMANCES.

I want to work at a coffee shop and meet mysterious boys who smoke cigarettes and write poetry. Like Dan from Gossip Girl in the BOOKS. Except he looks more like Dan from the show and is as normal as show Dan. Whichever.

Took a day off with my friend Andrew to go on up to Rolla and check out the third Mummy movie. Started the day early, returning rented movies and taking a weird lap with A'ndrea. Left with Andrew around elevenish and went to Waffle House. I had waffles, of course. Yum.

And the movie really wasn't what I wanted it to be. Though there were cool parts to it that I had been wanting to see develop since the first and second ones were released nine and seven years ago, it was basically overplayed, overdramatic, terrible re-casts, and they should've just kept it to two productions or got better writers.

I was reading this blog and kept getting annoyed by the lack of spaces between commas. The space bar is a common tool used in the practice of writing. Comma or not. Why does this bother me? Idontknowbecauselookingatstupidshitlikethisbothersme,hahahahahhahahsadhahdahdahaha.

People can be idiots in any sense of the word.

Getting up on my water kick again (and hopefully sticking to it). It's extremely vital to your health and I am tired of drinking tons of diet soda saying that it's better than regular. All of it's shitty. I hate feeling shitty. So kick out what makes you feel like that, right?

Hanging out with my cousin a lot lately. He's a pretty cool dude and can pull of Mayday Parade shorts well. Some of the pictures taken of him the other day I couldn't contrast or edit because when I did he turned red he's so tan. Crazy.

I want to learn how to ski so bad it's fucking outrageous.

I don't think I have disgust towards people with their own opinions. But, other than being in a sing-songy prelude of wanting to piss someone off, I'm doin' pretty good today. Surprised will always be locked into the air and I am finally getting to the point of not caring what people think of me. Their notions of my morals and value-standpoint are completely up to them, not me. I know where I am at and how I want to treat others, especially my friends. And it is not like shit. Drama is useless.

---

Reading an amazing book "Beautiful Boy". It's about a father struggling with his sons addiction. I do not want to spoil it, but reccomend you go to the nearest book store and find it. David Sheff is incredible with the story. I want to read his sons TWEAK novel if I can find it next time I am at a bookstore or I am shopping online. You will not be dissapointed.

---

Went to see Hancock yesterday with Tina. We left about half an hour early. It wasn't a bad movie by any means. I just would have rather watched in within the privacy of my own home. An hour and a half to two hours watching that story unfold made me unsure of if I had ever wanted to spend five dollars so carelessly again. But my rating throws a good three stars. I liked it. Will Smith always does good in his roles. And this one played out well. On this particular day, I just got bored.

Plus, there had been three other people in that entire movie theatre other than Tina and I and we felt like we were eating loud. So we scrammed to get home.

Only to find that some assholes movie a trailor had ripped through our yard and tore some serious shit up with their wide load. People are jerks.

xo. lyndsey

My mother made it very clear to me the other day that once I figure out I cant have everything I want and life isnt all that and a whatever, I will be much more happier with how I will end up. And that I dont listen ... and how I need that whole attitude adjustment thing.

Havok be it, I say something. Clearly making her point that I do, in fact, not listen. But I do? I just have a big mouth.

People with lost aspirations and the notion that life is over for them because they decided to get married, have kids, and stop talking to their friends not only bores me (it gets old), it pisses me off. DO SOMETHING.

I do not live in a family with money. I live with a single mother who works two jobs to get me school jeans. I work for gas money, a car payment, and insurance. I do buy most of the shit I wear anymore. And I am not the only one out there who appreciates everything they have, but gets pissed off when someone accuses them that they are looked upon as thinking they are better than everyone else.

For the record, you are not better than me and I am not better than you. Personally, an equalization scale would come in fucking handy right now. Just to stop the bitching.

Yeah, I like nice shit. A lot of people do. But just because half the human population that makes up my fam decided to blow it on ciggs and a real redundant job is not my problem. I will do something. Whether I make the money or not to eat or sleep at a place where someone wipes my ass for me does not bother me. It will be something that makes me happy.

I am so sick of pointed fingers. I just need a life to substain my eyes.

Crazy last couple of weeks. Went to Springfield with my mom and brother and shopped for a few days. Had fun. Wish I could do that more often. got jeans, jeans, and more jeans. And my brother bought a belt that didn't fit. Typical eleven year old boy, much?

Got tons of new CDs. The Maine is the best thing I have done with my money in awhile (they are also the holders of one of my fav tshirts to sport around ohhhh).

The Dark Knight was at midnight. There were people lined up in Joker and Batman suits everywhere. These two friends who were dressed up in Batman do-ups were parading around the entrance of the movie and freaked out with their voices and yelled "DUDE, CHECK IT OUT. I GOT 'EM RIGHT HERE!" and he pulled a string and these wings popped out of his back and almost popped me in the eye. Crazy. It was a great film. One of the best I've seen in awhile. I've always been such a dork for Batman and there was no such dissapointment in this production. The acting was incredible. I also loved how he made the pencil dissapear (if you have seen it, you will understand). Diabolical(SP) twists and people almost religiously ooh'ing at the screen for the Batman. Fucking good night.

Started off today lazy (as usual). School is starting next month on the 14th and I've barely slept in since it let out in May. I'm going to be a junior in high school. That sounds so crazy. I remember walking in as a freshman and loathing how long it would take to get to 2010. I only have two years left and it is freaking me out. I don't know what I want to do. I'm split between so many things. I have so many dreams and aspirations that I know absolutely nothing about ... what to do, what to do.

I've been listening to a lot of new releases lately. The ones that have impressed me the most have been ... Hit The Lights, The Maine, and Coldplay.

My elbow is is massive pain from something stupid I carried out yesterday. In the process of plugging my computer up after a storm Wed. morning, I had to literally punch hit the plug in to go into the socket and rammed my elbow into the leg of the table my desktop sits on. Ouch.

--

Found this picture stacked in my photobucket of Caleb, Austin, and I. Seems like forever when it was only in May.

Serious whizz at my playlist that suddenly decided to stop working. I'll see all of you in a bit. Shutting down my computer is never a fun thing (try coming and talking down to my HP, it's a bitch).

nothing but words. so no need to tend of the mind fixture that hangs like a light in your head. I won't sink in so bad this time.

contemplating the things that have changed me and the people who have noticed everything that I am, it comes on the same as always. My depression, my interior decorative window of head (with many windows so I do not need your lights), and my logic. no matter the situation, there is always something that is almost competively worse than I am. if I feel I am traveling the deep end of drowning in my own gaggling douchebag spit, I always happen to flip on the commercial asking women to buy pads and tampons so they can help other girls that were unlunky in the pick of draw and were born in the wrong place where they can't get that shit. so, they end up bleeding through and aren't able to tend school because otherwise, they wouldn't be making the commercial. and, somehow ... I always end up going and buying every freaking set of diapers, tampons, pads--whatever will help--and hope to anything that what I just bought did make a difference--that I made a difference.

----

my key of reason? none. I just think that half of anyone's problem is that they want to make such a staggering difference in life they go nuts and spew chunks of bullshit from their mouths or pockets.

I just want to buy myself a huge, nasty meal that costs over more than I make in one night without feeling bad about the underprivl. everywhere (there happen to be a couple in the USA, too).

I have electric keepings. I want to give everyone everything. golden that I think of so. but there just so happens to be you, yourself, and me (because there is no 'I' in team).

I hate yelling, and I hate screaming. I wish there were ways some people could figure out how to communicate their feelings besides bad words volumized at the top of their lungs. It seems more than un-called for. What does it get you? Definitely not control. It just get's others scared to be as empty as whoever has to top the charts with their voice in anger. Equals out to depressing.

twloha: it's a good cause. get into it.

----

Everyone wants a picture perfect life containing houses with big windows and a wide front porch. Agreed it would be nice to not have everyday be a rainy one, not to include how it would be a fucking wonder if you didn't have to work for anything you wanted.

I run out of my mind trying to figure out what I want to do within the next hour. How am I suppose to know what I want to be when I grow up or where I want to live. To be honest, I'd rather live in an apartment that has ONE window with an alright view. I can only imagine figuring out life isn't as picture perfect as Walgreens says it is when I'm spent out the ass paying for Windex because I wanted to see out every frikkin' angle of my house.

----

I've been drinking water, water, and more water lately. I wish it weren't so bland. I get bored drinking it. But it makes me feel better than downing Mountain Dew or Dr Pepper.

xo. lyndsey

My friend Brad and I got to see Mayday Parade with one another and he constantly poked at me for buying their shorts. It was cool seeing him for a couple hours before he had to take off for the east coast for another year.

---------

I want to get a beast of a doberman and name it Squid. Potty-training it would be terribly shitty (yeah). Much worse than my little baby Bubbles.

ZomGz! she was tryin' to shake the demons outta herrr.

I can't stop listening to The Wallflowers and Katy Perry. These two musical acts remind me that you don't have to like just one type of music. And I love all kinds. From pop to country, it's in my veins. I love getting ground roots in lyrical fragments someone sat down and took the time to write from the bottom of whatever they're feeling. To me, music is a lot more than just another job or thing people do when they're bored. It's a passion and a meaning of life. I surround myself by that embrace (which could mean I'm constantly getting metaphorical hugs).

Blah. So here's the schedule for tommorow:

get up

breakfast

workout

walmart

home

....

Any ideas?

I constantly test the limits of trouble. I need to keep zipped lips and let the party go on. But I have a terrible problem with wanting to be in the action. I love the moment. You have to admit it would bother you, also if you couldn't be in "the now".

Then again, thinking about tommorow is essential in the case of hangovers and wondering who you'll wake up with (not that I've ever really had at least one of those problems).

School starts in a little over a month. It seems like we just got out. Instead of counting the days until my crazy nights and late mornings, I'm sick with the dwindling of days left. I'm going to be a junior. This life goes fast.

I've recently picked up a paycheck that busted the limits of 50 dollars. Made a whole 105$. The real bogus part is that my pay is cut in half because of my mother (and my car and phone and whatever the fuck else I'm responsible for). I don't know what I'm going to do when I move out ta this place. I don't know how to do anything without my mom. I'm hopeless sometimes.

Haircut next week. Work. Work. Work. Work.

I miss Taylor and Erica. I can't wait for Warped Tour for a reunion. I've missed them since the Honda Civic.

Mayday Parade is a must. Anyone got the hookup? I'd love to live a day in the life of Jamie All Over.  :)